Pregnancy: not for the faint of heart

So I'm sailing through to 26 weeks. Or am I? I love being pregnant. I love feeling my little dumpling do somesaults inside of me. I love when other people get to feel her move. I never understood the comparisons of "little flutters". The little kicks feel exactly like a muscle spasm in your abdomen. And. I. Love. It! A child really is God's miracle, and I am beyond blessed to have made it this far in my pregnancy. But God has put me to the test. Can I really handle this motherly business? I survived my first trimester's morning sickness, after all. The day before Valentine's Day I went on a day trip to Austin with my mom for a fun wedding taste-testing with my brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law and the whole way there I puked and the whole way back was no different. I thought the morning sickness was back again, but turned out to be a bug. Thank goodness!

When I hit 20 weeks, I got another surprise. I was unfortunately kicked in the abdomen by a patient during one of my shifts. Just to be on the safe side, I tested my urine for blood. Thankfully, there was not one sign of blood, but there was glucose in my urine. Nothing I was expecting. I pricked my finger and found that my blood sugar was 405. Yikes! My doctor was hoping to write it off as stress. That my body was reacting to the kick in the abdomen. She ran tests, hello diabetes. I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes at 20 weeks. Usually pregnant women are tested for Gestational Diabetes between 24-28 weeks with what I've heard to be a nasty sugary drink that you chug after fasting all night. Thankfully, I didn't have to partake in that. It was a God thing that I just randomly found out at work. Optimism, right?

I was educated on a diabetic diet (something I think EVERY person should be educated on), started walking every day, and checking my glucose four times daily. My numbers didn't improve. I was consistently in the 300s. So my doctor took away the "gestational" and is considering me Adult-Onset Diabetes, my numbers are too high and I was diagnosed too early in the pregnancy to be considered gestational, or so they say.
She prescribed me oral medication. Every week, by choice, I would call and update her nurse with my horrible sugars, now consistently in the 200s-300s. She would try to problem-solve by asking me what I was eating. I followed my diabetic diet to the tee. She asked if I was eating fruit. Note: if you have not attended a diabetic education class, watch yourself, I get defensive quickly. Of course I'm eating fruit. I am required to eat a set number of carbs, protein, and fats for this diet. Required. I do not quit eating if my numbers are too high. Fruit counts as a carb, y'all....nurse. I have calculated it in to my diet, and have measured accordingly. DO NOT TELL ME I CANNOT EAT AN APPLE. Rant over. 

So my diet now consists of lots of: eggs, avocados, turkey sandwiches, cheese, hummus, yogurt, cottage cheese, apples, blueberries, protein bars, veggies, lots of meat (chicken, beef, salmon, turkey). I have found this amazing brand at central market called "ZEVIA" it is a soda that has no sugar and the sugar substitute is stevia which I can have as much as I want of! So exciting! I usually pack the same thing in my work lunch every day but was wondering if anyone had any other good food ideas.

This week I was sick, a gastro bug of some sort. It is very difficult trying to find something that is bland and still meets all requirements. Usually the BRAT diet is on the doctor's orders, BANANAS, RICE, APPLESAUCE, AND TOAST. And I read "carb, carb, carb, carb". Do you know how difficult it is to eat a protein with every single meal/snack?!  Especially when you don't feel good? Yuck! Any advice will be appreciated on this subject. I did find POWERADE ZERO which has saved my life. I usually drink gatorade when I'm sick but can't now because of all of the sugar and Vitamin Water Zero doesn't have all of the electrolytes like gatorade and powerade.

Back on Track. Needless to say, every week she would increase my dose. Up until this week. We were at a standstill and my sugars were making no improvements. I was on a rather high dose of oral medication, eating perfectly, and still was running extremely high. My OB scheduled me to see the High Risk OB and my worst fear, put me on insulin. It is not the shot that terrifies me, but that fact that with insulin, I can go hypoglycemic, and from a nursing perspective, is scary. I'd hate for Brice to see me like that, for him to take care of me in that kind of state, it just plain terrifies me.

And my coworkers....amazing. People I had no clue even knew my name, are asking me how I am doing, how my sugars are. It humbles me. Not a day goes by that someone doesn't ask how I am, and really cares about the answer. Our ER family at Cook really does take care of one another.

And with all of this mess, I still absolutely love being pregnant. I was asked the other day..."so with all of this mess, do you still want 5 kids?" and the answer so far is, YES! As much changes as I had to make during this pregnancy, as much as I so badly want a Braums ice cream, I could be pregnant the rest of my life. Maybe I'm just in the honeymoon stage of the second trimester...maybe I'll change my mind when I'm "swollen and miserable" during the third trimester, but right now, I am super content with this little/big belly of mine, and protecting my little girl from this crazy world!

Update: sweet girl is 2 lbs and is measuring exactly at my due date (not too big-which can be a problem with diabetes). My OB will however "take me early" so I will not go full-term and will likely deliver the week after 4th of July :) our little firecracker, we love you so much already. Here she is today :)

New life these days: A memoir of our 2014 tragedy

Welp, here it is. 2015. 2014 really brought it. Yep. So as I reminisce, I remind you, this is my blog, it could get personal, it is going to get personal... so this is your black box warning.

I'm going to focus on one thing in particular, because I promised myself that when it happened, I would write the details. Not the gruesome details, but more the emotional details. And that is my miscarriage.

Typing that word is almost embarrassing. And that bothers me. Why does it have to be embarrassing? It really is such a "hush hush" topic. But I love talking about it because it happens way more often than you think, and women AND men need to be aware of this. So please if you have a question whether this "really happened" to me or anything else. Come to me. Not my friends, not my family, but me. It puts those people in an awkward situation to answer questions. And I find out about the calls, texts, and Facebook messages that you send to my loved ones. Just go straight to the source, weren't you always taught that?

Let's start way back when. I've always wanted to be a mom. I believe I was put on this earth to be a mom. And I've thought that for a long time. I've wanted 5 children, and have since I was 7 years old. That being said, everyone knew this. Before the wedding we would often tell our friends "we're not necessarily going to 'try' but we're not technically preventing". So everyone knew it was a possibility. And we frequently got the question after the honeymoon was over, "ARE YOU PREGNANT YET?" I knew the answer, even before we left St. Lucia, that I was. And took pregnancy tests for the next 2 weeks to confirm. I finally got my positive. We had our honeymoon baby. I was ecstatic! I bought a pair of baby Sperry topsiders, and wrote the following poem in a special card for Brice:

One year from now, they will be here for your welcome home greet.
One Sperry will no longer do, so here's a pair for their baby feet!

Of course, Brice had a fabulous reaction, caught on video. We were so happy. This was a moment that I had been waiting for my whole life. We decided to keep the secret and tell our family on Father's Day. Less than a handful of people knew, including Brice and myself.  At the time, we were living in a small 960 sq. ft. apartment with our large dog. I loved my job, but wasn't happy in the hospital that I worked in. Any and all can guess my feelings on living in San Antonio. We had a lot to think about, and a lot to do about it. We decided to start looking for jobs in Dallas and houses to buy. If that didn't work out we were going to have to commit to San Antonio and buy a home for our growing family. I finally heard back for a job at Dallas Childrens and Cook Childrens. Both interviews were in the same week. I had trouble sleeping, with constipation, gas, and peeing frequently. I wrote off the cramps that Friday morning based on those frequent occurrences, and went interview clothes shopping with a close friend who wasn't aware of our news yet. I called my friend, one of my only friends who I had shared my baby news with. She had recently had a baby and I knew she could relate to everything I was going through. She told me I needed to slow down and rest. I paid no attention and continued on with my busy day. I was going to a work event to bowl with my work family. Brice met me there. I decided to lay low and not bowl, instead I sat and socialized and drank lots of water. My frequent bathroom trips continued at the bowling alley where I noticed my first spot of blood. It made me nervous and the more often I went to the bathroom, the more nervous I got.

I got emotional on the way home. The second I got home, I called the doctor. Of course because it was a Friday night, the office was closed. The on call doctor was supposed to call me back. Those few minutes felt like hours waiting for a phone call. Brice and I prepared to go to the hospital. When the doctor called back, it wasn't my doctor, but another nice physician who was appropriate and understanding. He confirmed my symptoms and let me know that if the symptoms get worse, this could definitely be a miscarriage but because I was so early in my pregnancy, there was nothing he could do about it. My body should do what it was supposed to do at home. And so we waited.

Some of the best marital advice we received when we first got married was "God doesn't wait to test your vows". And that He didn't. Brice could not have proved his vows any better in that weekend. He was (and is) the best partner I could have prayed for. He went to the store and stocked up on pads and gatorade, no questions asked. It didn't take long for my uterus to start contracting. This was labor without the gift from God that most mothers receive at the end of labor. On Sunday, Mother's Day, we decided we were emotionally stable enough to call our parents to tell them. What an ironic Mother's Day. On Monday, Brice accompanied me to my OB appointment where they confirmed the miscarriage. Watching the ultrasound move over my uterus with nothing inside. Heartbreak.

In an earlier post on the blog, before we were moving, I shared that this was time we grew closer to God. There is nothing "right" to say to a woman going through a miscarriage. But the hardest thing was when people said "it was meant to be". This was something I knew but had to find out on my own. I prayed every day and filled my spare time with Christian music. I remember driving that week and hearing the song that literally got me through this hard time. Laura Story's "Blessings":
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

I frequently recommend it to friends going through similar situations.

I continued on with my interviews that week. I called (who does that?) to confirm my interview time with both hospitals. Car packed, 5 minutes from leaving to Dallas, I received a call back from Dallas Childrens thanking me for calling to confirm because they actually no longer needed the position filled due to changes in their staffing schedule. Fate. Cook Childrens confirmed my interview. I successfully completed my interview and was offered a position. Life moved quickly over the next few months.

When people say the first year of marriage is the hardest, they weren't kidding! We went through probably too much change at one time. We got married, pregnant, miscarried, both of us changed jobs, moved cities, bought a home, and I moved to night shift all within 3 months. We've recovered (all except the night shift). I love working for Cook Childrens, it is a fabulous hospital and such a different experience from a for-profit hospital. We're so glad Brice is back at Halliburton. He carpools with his best man every morning and is a lot more stress-free compared to San Antonio. We love living in Fort Worth. I say it is just like a San Antonio, country and cowboy, but close to Dallas <3. We have found our home church which was a stressful search in Oklahoma and in San Antonio. We love our home. Brice (and I?) stay busy, constantly making renovations. Night shift is still driving me crazy. My body will never understand, and neither will my sleep schedule.

Life has finally settled down. Or has it?

I am almost 15 weeks pregnant with our baby to be born in July <3 Our rainbow after a storm. Our little miracle. My original due date was July 11, Brice's birthday, but after my ultrasound they moved my due date to July 20. Brice checks the mail everyday after work so I wrote a poem for Brice, put it in the mailbox, and started the camera:

Seven Eleven is a gas station up the street
And also the day for your birthday treat
But this July 11th will be extra sweet
For this day will be the due date for some tiny baby feet!

We are seriously so excited. We told our families on Christmas, with their gift, a pack-and-play (or playpen for you old folks :)) video reaction included! And walked in the my extended family's Christmas party with my "Baby bump's first Christmas" shirt on. So much fun! Some of my favorite reactions include my cousin's son, a high five with "way to go" and one of my best friends from high school crying over lunch. Totally unexpected.

On somewhat of a pessimistic point of view, I have waited to spread the news until now for many reasons. I read this article last night about pregnancy after miscarriage and couldn't agree more. Literally every word. Obviously waiting until 12 weeks to tell anyone for the "safe zone". My first trimester I suffered quite the morning sickness but I told Brice I felt honored to be so sick because it just confirms the baby is alive (hormones and all) inside of me. Also, do you know how liberating it feels to have a secret that Facebook is unaware about? To be able to experience (my favorite) pure reactions? Priceless. I am also uneasy about my coworkers knowing. In fear that things will be said that will hurt my feelings. Too often, before I was pregnant with this child, I would get the lectures about waiting to have children, "life will never be the same" followed by negative examples of children screaming, no sleep, unhappy marriages, etc. Also things like "you're just bitchy because you're pregnant" or "I'm sure it was Lauren that forgot, she's got the pregnancy brain". Surprisingly I've had a fabulous response at work (besides the fact that 100 other people are pregnant in my unit...but really, like close to 30). Some people just get their nose too deep in other people's business. For this reason, we will most likely not share the gender or name (which we don't know either right now) with anyone until the baby is born to steer clear from "oh I knew a child with that name who always had a snotty face", "that is an old lady name", "oh man you're having a boy! I'm sorry boys are just stinky and gross", etc. Just keep your opinions to yourself. We really couldn't be happier, and I don't want anyone to ruin this happy time in our lives.

Happy Friday y'all! Enjoy this beautiful weather! I know my little family will be :)

Does Fort Worth Ever Cross Your Mind?

Goodbye San Antone. We have had our disputes. I have griped more than enough times about your weather, about your horrible drivers and even more horrible road systems. I have wasted my breath trying to argue my point for why the Mavs are so much better than your team ;) but all the while I am speechless when I realize that not one person in this city (besides myself) doesn't root for the Spurs. 

But this was the city of my first real adult job. My first day as a nurse. The city where we bought our beloved dog. The apartment we first shared as ours. This is where we lived when we were engaged and where we did most of our wedding planning. This is the home we came back to after saying I DO. This is where we cried over the loss of our first baby and came the closest to God we have ever been in our entire lives.  We had fights and tears and smiles and laughter in this city and I am so happy we were able to call it home for for the last 2 years. I was proud to live in "South Texas", where only here do people understand the beauty of Whataburger. In this city, cowboy boots is a staple, and it is out of the norm to see guys in jeans who aren't wearing boots. Proud my husband is not one of these aliens ;) most everyone listens to country, goes to church, and knows how to two-step. We will miss it here. 

We were blessed enough to only be an hour from my in-laws. Whom I'm absolutely impressed with their ability to make time for us. So many times you live in the same city as a friend or loved one and all too often you don't take advantage of seeing each other any more than if you lived states away. This was not the case for Brice's wonderful family who I gladly accept as my own. We will surely miss the short distance from them. 

In the reverse though, we moved here expecting to spend more time with friends and family who lived in the same city, who were elated when they found out we were moving to San Antonio. And we saw them a handful of times if at all. I suppose I am disappointed at both sides for not trying harder. I digress.

 The wonderful souls I became close to we're not the people I was expecting. Mostly my coworkers. This beautiful group of people who work together for the lives of children. My fellow nurses, PCAs, unit clerks, bosses, and need a forget childlife?! Friends who have witnessed every stage of our lives we have experienced here in San Antonio. I have been blessed to work for this hospital for 2 years. 

But it is time to move on as our time in San Antonio has plateaued and is now to the end.  It was only appropriate to use this blog's title. A song by the King of Country, George Strait, who considers San Antonio his home, singing about our new home. We will be starting our new life chapter in Fort Worth, Texas. Not too far from my parents in Dallas. I'm am quite excited about this. Not too much of a culture shock for Brice, as he is well acquainted with the San Antonio lifestyle, Fort Worth is much more of a "country" feel than Dallas...but is a healthier distance to Northpark ;) 

I will be working at Cook Children's in the ER. One of my dream jobs. I am quite the mover and shaker when it comes to work so I'm excited about this fast paced environment. This facility seems impressive and highly ranked on the children's hospital charts. Not to mention they have a chick-fil-a and a Starbucks. SOLD!! Oh...and a build a bear! 

Brice will continue his work with Halliburton, in a position he seems very proud and excited about. More on that soon. 

We have purchased our first home, just minutes from my work. It's an older home with charm, character, and a back yard for Sperry. I'm super pumped about this short commute. It will however be a bit of a haul for Bricey. Thankfully his best man lives 15 minutes from us so they can carpool to work together. We are already thankful for these friends that are so close to us. 

 I never imagined myself in Fort Worth but we are so very excited about this opportunity and couldn't be more sure this was another part for the plan God has in store for us. We are so very proud of this next step in our lives, and we ask for your prayers along the way, and negative comments be kept to yourselves. 

For those of you "keeping the secret" thank you from the bottom of our hearts. We needed this information to be "ours only" until we were ready to tell the public. It was just a healthy thing for our marriage and thank you for understanding this. You are now free to tell whom you please :)

Our home will be open to y'all soon enough so please if you are ever in town, would like a dance partner at Billy Bob's, have an extra hotdog at the Ranger's game, need a cowboy hat for the football game, feeling a need to attend the livestock show, need a drinking buddy at Joe T Garcias, or just someone to enjoy each other's company, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask! In the meantime, prepare yourselves Fort Worth...here come the Pattersons! 

My 9 tips for wedding planning

So we haven't even been married for three weeks and I already feel like we are an old couple. But I love it. I have a draft forming for all the information of the wedding day and honeymoon but it's so long I don't even know how to edit it. So I'll start with this one. 

I can't stop thinking of all the tips I have for other brides,  so I've got to get this off my chest. This is just a handful of things I was told from other people. As well as other things that I learned myself. Hope you enjoy!

Of all the advice people gave me about my wedding day, the advice that really stuck included:

1. Don't let the things that go wrong bother you. Just laugh them off.

This was something that Brice's  mom told me and it didn't really make sense until it happened. So many things went off schedule on our wedding day and it was too late to do anything about it. So after I cried ;) I just laughed. Not really! The only thing I cried about was when the cake baker called my cell phone during my hair appointment to tell me she made the wrong wedding cake. And I was due for a cry. 

2. Don't fly out for your honeymoon the morning after your wedding. 

This was something one of Brice's friends who just recently got married said it was one of the best things they did. We actually had planned to leave for St. Lucia at 5 AM on Sunday after our wedding. And because it's an international flight we would have had to be there at 3 AM. Yeah right. So we decided to fly to Miami Sunday evening and then fly out for St. Lucia on Monday. We were able to go get my ring fixed Sunday morning after the wedding because a diamond fell out on our wedding day (just laugh right?), we were able to have lunch with my family and in-laws, and we were able to go back to my house to gather the many things we would have forgotten. 

And then there's the list that people didn't tell me that you all need to know.

3. During your hair trial and putting your wedding dress on before the wedding realize how much time things actually take. 

I had a hour by hour schedule that I put together months before the wedding that I sent out to all my bridesmaids. And sometimes you don't realize it takes two hours to get an updo. 

4. Plan ahead the stuff you want to take with you to the wedding venue. 

Unfortunately I live out of town so everything was packed in bags. But I was smart enough to pack a separate bag for the honeymoon and another bag for my Dallas trip. Something I totally recommend. However many of the things for the wedding day was taken to Dallas months prior and I was scrambling the morning of the wedding trying to remember what everything I needed to take to the venue. We got to the venue two hours before the wedding and I had planned on getting into my wedding dress there with my hair and make up already done. A few things in my bag included toothpaste, toothbrush, pressed powder, lipgloss, hairspray, bobby pins, makeup remover wipes, Band-aid (the cameraman actually needed one so I offered him one of my Barbie Band-Aids). I wish I would have gotten double-sided tape. We were needing this for a wardrobe malfunction. And thank God my mom had tweezers.  And then the sentimental stuff like my special Mrs. Patterson hangar, my Handkerchief, my ceremony shoes, my reception shoes, my jewelry including my wedding earrings and my wedding bracelet, flower girl basket, ringbearer pillow, the marriage certificate. 

5. Delegate who will be responsible for what needs to be in your getaway car.

My wedding planner asked me an hour before we left what needed to be in the car. The only thing I knew to tell her was my purse. I had forgotten I took out many smaller makeup bags with things like my makeup remover and toothbrush and toothpaste...something you might need for your honeymoon suite. I also forgot the sandals that I was wearing that morning, and had planned to pack them in my honeymoon suitcase as my beach sandals. My Michael Kors sandals did the job, but it would've been nice to have my cheaper pair.

6. Pack a snack for the honeymoon suite.

They weren't kidding when they said we would be hungry. We even took plenty of time to eat during our wedding. But we were still ravenous by the time we got back to our honeymoon suite. Thankfully our catering company packed us a small lunch box full of little snack items including trail mix, popcorn,   two slices of our wedding cake, two cans of champagne (presh) and some other goodies, and we finished every bit of it, so it would've been nice to have something else to snack on.

7. Take your wedding cards to the airport.

I'm so glad we did this. We had a lot of time to kill for flight. And it was very sweet to go through the cards together as a married couple and read them :) it's also nice to have your bank app so you can direct deposit the checks by just taking a picture of them! 

8. Buy an address stamp

One of the smartest thing we ever did! You start getting arthritis after so many thank you cards,  and yes it's not very many words but when you're writing 300 thank you's it is.

9. Take off time after the honeymoon.

I was going between taking one week before the wedding off or when we after the honeymoon off. And decided I was going to need the time after the wedding. So glad I did because they gave me time to recoup, time with Sperry, and time to change my name. Not to mention I wasn't a tired wife :)

I know I've already forgotten things so I will add as I remember but until then, happy wedding planning to all and to all a good night!!

Life's too short to not treat yourself with a little vacation

So I've decided there would be too many posts or too long of a post to depict my mommy and me vacation so I resort to this location. 

My mom had a brilliant idea to take a mommy/daughter vacation as our last hoorah before I said my I DOs. Vacation? Sure. Cancun? Absolutely. So I took off work for the weekend, kissed my 2 boys goodbye, and headed to Dallas on Thursday. Early Friday morning my dad dropped us off at DFW and our vacation began. 

The plane ride started questionable. We didn't realize, until our boarding passes were printed, that we were seated on separate rows. My mom posted up on her row, as I emptied my nervous bladder (flying has made me more and more nervous the older I get), hopefully awaiting 2 single fliers. One, hopefully, agreeing to switch seats with her. The prey arrived, and momma bear attacked. The girl happily obliged and the man now sitting next to my mom hands the lady her pillow. Low and behold, the man and lady were together. When my mom and I realized this we sincerely apologized and asked if she'd like her original seat back. She told us not a problem, "we sat by each other on our previous flight". What a wonderful soul. 

As we started our descent. I noticed we were above the ocean, and this was the view. Bliss. 

Gorgeous. Would you say so?

So we made no eye contact on the way out, determined not to be stalked to join a time share. Successful, we made our way to our resort. All inclusive and absolutely beautiful. 

We were greeted with welcome drinks, so we posed: 

"Let's just take a selfie my mom said". Excuse me, did I hear you correct? You young soul of a self just use the word SELFIE. Many phrases like this came from her mouth this past weekend, one of those being HASHTAG. I guess the empty nesting is taking years off my parents. NOTE: The red, almost sunburn looking line on my shoulder was from my 90 lb carry on. Ouch. 

We were given our room key and introduced to our alcohol dispenser and fully stocked fridge with beer, mixers, and BOTTLED water. Pray for no revenge on us, Montezuma. More on that story later. 

Here was the view from our balcony. 

Most of our day was spent traveling and in customs so we took advantage of the few hours left of sun and went to the beach. It was here that we noticed the resort setting up for a wedding, a post on Facebook that couldn't wait for the blog  to be posted. There were topless women. Perfectly sculpted bosoms that had absolutely no tan lines, not that I was studying them, but this was not their first peep show. There were also the gravity exposed; poor souls, but we will all have our turn, just not now please. This all just a few feet away from the ceremony. Not my cup if tea. Then there was my mother and I. We were the photographers. I captured moments, people. 

NOTE: Please notice the classy spectacles and their fresh ocean water hairdos. Psh, onlookers. I continued my job:

Yes, I was sobbing by this point. No, not because the bride's father was in flip flops, or that the people in the ocean felt like their role was as important than mine photographing, but because I know in a little over a month, this will be me and my daddy. 

We couldn't stay for the whole ceremony. We had dinner and drinks to attend to. 

And so we did. 

Enjoy drinks

And drinks. 

And more drinks. 

It was all-inclusive for heavens sake. And we were in Mexico. And we were celebrating. We had so much fun. With so much laughter. 

It was fabulous to be away from the stress of what we call life. Away from complaints of everyday junk. I actually enjoyed the sound of blissful silence. No country or repetitive songs on the radio. No tv you could understand because we don't know Spanish. Even though I've lived in SA for almost 2 years now...but that an excuse for another story. It was fabulous only having tvs in our room because people had no distractions. They sat face to face at a table, made eye contact, and communicated. I love this, which is why we have not had cable, or any tv channels, for 2 years now. I highly recommend it. Everyone was optimistic. They were on vacation too. And celebrating life, with no complaints. 

Yes we could have focused on the negatives. The food wasn't that great, but the presence of company over a meal outweighed the cons. We didn't have much cold air in our rooms, but we didn't spend much time there anyway so why complain. The internet wasn't the best connection, but at least we have the ability to communicate through apps like viber so we don't pay $99 a minute. Once our family had a visitor who all they had to say were complaints. Finding the negative in people and negatives of life. A world full of pessimism. I had had enough at the end of their stay that I initiated a rule: For every negative comment you say, follow with 2 positive things. It's a wonderful way to work if you must. 

This brings me to the mother in the airport in Cancun. She was just mad at life. It all started when her husband let her probably 9 year old girl go to the bathroom on her own. Yes probably not the best decision. But she dragged on her pissed off attitude for forever. "Daughter where did you put my book?" It was in the girls suitcase. She demanded she get it out. So the girl did, meanwhile trying to repack her suitcase because she had messed it up digging, her mom threw a fit, telling the dad it was his responsibility to clean up the mess. "Daughter go check the flight status" but she did it wrong the first time so she sent her back again and again because she just didn't get her the right information.

The younger daughter was told to complete her homework but didn't understand how to work out the math problems. More complaints. More yelling. I considered offering my tutoring services so she could grab one last cocktail before losing her britches. I felt for the husband who was being kicked around and cussed at. I felt for the girls who were being used for their mothers laziness. I felt for the girl who truly couldn't concentrate in a busy airport trying to complete math homework that she didn't even understand yet no one would explain it to her. I'm not a parent yet. But I have my patience tested every day with children. And please, just a word of advice, choose your battles. Do you need to throw a fit about your child's handwriting when she literally is writing with an unsharpened pencil without anything under the paper to write on....in public! If I were to have counted she was probably 100 positive comments in debt. It bothered me that is all. Vent over. 

This all being said I was blessed to have been gifted a book that was written by a woman who I frequent her blog entries. They are hysterical and so witty. I had come across her section in Barnes and noble during our last trip to the bookstore and Brice got me a copy for Valentines day. The book, SEVEN was written by Jen Hatmaker. This almost diary-like novel is centered on living simply. Decluttering life's unnecessary things to leave room, time, and life for God. I, not being much of a reader, was proud to have finished this beautifully written book this weekend. She discusses minimizing media, stress, waste, and spending. She fasts for a month limiting herself to only 7 foods. She prays seven prayers throughout the day. All while making more time and a better meaning to serving The Lord. I don't think reading this book could have come at a better time. I am coming back to reality more motivated and spirited then ever (I made a small exception for my positive outlook when I was seated in the middle seat on the way home and Mr. Aisle seat thought he was good enough for both arm-rests. So audience, remember: the middle seater has both left and right personal space bubbles popped so please be courteous and give up the arm rest or even half of the arm rest. I was kind enough to remind my com rad of this). I highly recommend this book (or you can borrow my copy). It's crazy funny and so full of meaning. 

I'm not only thankful I got to spend this meaningful time with mi madre but really got to learn about myself independently. I've matured so much in the last 2 years. Making a career out of what I love to do, building a relationship with the person I love so dearly, becoming financially stable (regardless of freakishly ridiculous student loans), and enjoying our little family in our 900 square foot apartment with my 2 boys. This was the picture that was sent to me on day 2 in Mexico. 

I'm still goofy and in my opinion, hysterically funny, but who's to judge. I'm still a daughter and sister and friend. I still sunburn even though I coat myself with 70 SPF. But I'm so ready to begin my new journey as a wife. I'm ready to see what our future holds. God has given me more than enough, including this beautiful sunrise this morning

 And someone who has long awaited your return

Thanks mom to making memories with me this weekend! Now....BRING ON THE WEDDING!!!!!

Attention Seeker

When I did my clinical rotations in Psych, it was always easy to pick out the attention seekers. That guy that would yell PENISSS from across the room during group therapy or the girl that would constantly jump up and down the entire way from the cafeteria to the gym. Attention seekers. 

Why have I been in denial that there is one living in my household? Not B of course. That child is made of gold and comes straight from candyland. No flaws or imperfections. Although I'm searching long and hard for them. I'm talking about this gem. 

See those eyes. Don't let them fool you. He loves cameras. He acts like he hates them but when you break away he dies for more. Total attention seeking behavior, am I right? 

Now with humans, it's easy to deal with crazy penis behavior. You just ignore it! You don't pay attention to that shit. You don't react. It never happened. But it's hard to not react. It's like keeping a straight face when someone farts during quiet reading time. Close to impossible. It's even more impossible when the attention seeking behavior draws blood from your freaking arm. Sperrys signature move. Who wouldn't react to a nice hard paw, slashing through every ligament on the way down. 

I asked my vet what to do about this. Her answer, buy the claw protectors from petsmart. It's like a gel pad that fits over their nails. That seems silly to me but then again my only solution to seeking behavior thus far is ignoring.  That's getting near impossible considering tears and an occasional "FREAK OF NATURE" in all caps for a reason is not the quietest of reactions. 

My selfish fear? I'm going to be all tattooed up in claw markings for my wedding. I need to nip this in the bud quickly. Any ideas on how?

Number 23

I'm not fond of the number 23, I've never been. Don't know what it is about that number. Maybe it's just the way it looks. I feel like its an old age. I'd rather be 24. I think that sounds younger. 

Every birthday up until this one I've always wished to be older. Looking forward to the increasing number. Not this one. 

The day of my 23rd birthday was filled with a lot of old things. I woke up at 6:30 am. On my day off. And this, was sleeping in. I ate quinoa for breakfast. As my best friend Katie put it "your going to need to start beginning your day with fiber from now on", thanks friend, just trying to, you know, keep myself regular. I then went on a walk, not to the gym, a walk outdoors...around the neighborhood. Thankfully I haven't advanced yet into all white tennis shoes with a thick sole. I finished my afternoon shopping. What did I buy you ask? Soap. For the kitchen sink. Old. 

Katie encouraged me to stay out past my 9 o'clock bedtime. I was set on closing the bars down. Not letting a drink get me tired.  How did I handle the alcohol? Like a train smashed into my aging body and the caboose did a double take on the way out. 

So sweet Brice made me a smoothie this morning as I got out of bed in slow motion. We're headed to the lake now for some 4th of July festivities. No car talk about the heat outside, grease, and most importantly cheese, even though I want cheese, so the conversation is limited. We stopped at the gas station for some saltines. They tasted disgusting. Old. Just like me. 

Thanks for reading passed my run on sentences and nagging. I can't wait to be 24 and young again but I'm 100% positive that this will be the best year yet.