Attention Seeker

When I did my clinical rotations in Psych, it was always easy to pick out the attention seekers. That guy that would yell PENISSS from across the room during group therapy or the girl that would constantly jump up and down the entire way from the cafeteria to the gym. Attention seekers. 

Why have I been in denial that there is one living in my household? Not B of course. That child is made of gold and comes straight from candyland. No flaws or imperfections. Although I'm searching long and hard for them. I'm talking about this gem. 

See those eyes. Don't let them fool you. He loves cameras. He acts like he hates them but when you break away he dies for more. Total attention seeking behavior, am I right? 

Now with humans, it's easy to deal with crazy penis behavior. You just ignore it! You don't pay attention to that shit. You don't react. It never happened. But it's hard to not react. It's like keeping a straight face when someone farts during quiet reading time. Close to impossible. It's even more impossible when the attention seeking behavior draws blood from your freaking arm. Sperrys signature move. Who wouldn't react to a nice hard paw, slashing through every ligament on the way down. 

I asked my vet what to do about this. Her answer, buy the claw protectors from petsmart. It's like a gel pad that fits over their nails. That seems silly to me but then again my only solution to seeking behavior thus far is ignoring.  That's getting near impossible considering tears and an occasional "FREAK OF NATURE" in all caps for a reason is not the quietest of reactions. 

My selfish fear? I'm going to be all tattooed up in claw markings for my wedding. I need to nip this in the bud quickly. Any ideas on how?